Over due Goodbye and Fare well..

2009-03-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

So I lost a dear "best friend" of mine over the weekend. Guess it just came down to the fact i wasn't putting her first or making her the center of my world and attention. See it's stupid really but for you who don't know what really went down i will fill you in on every part of it so bare with me on the longness of this blog. Sunday was my 23rd birthday and i was out to dinner at Applebee's with my family (which anyone who knows me can say this NEVER happens). Well Rebecca texted me saying "i just wanna go back to bed" I replyed with "i'm at applebee's..text me later" well she flipped shit on me big time for not texting her while at dinner. Later that night I did however try speaking with her and all she said was "I have plans" and i was like ok and left her alone. I mean i had plans you flipped shit on me for not being there when you wanted to talk i could have flipped bricks back on you but i didn't i let it go.

Still upset Monday morning i made the choice not to speak with her at all because she was being selfish and out of line. Later that night she got the bright idea to message me over yahoo and say "look sorry i was so upset bout yesterday. it was out of line. i understand if ur mad or w.e". Needless to say i did not message her back, i read what she said over and over again, replying the actions that took place and only thing i came up with was where is the sorry to me in that? You flipped shit on my birthday when you knew i was at dinner, so where is my sorry? To me and a few others it just seems like she was saying sorry for her feelings and being upset not that she was sorry for hurting me or any of it. Besides who starts a sorry with "Look" and ends it with "w.e."?

Tuesday rolled around, i have yet to speak to Rebecca about any of this, well she got another bright idea to message me over msn this time saying "Sarah found someone better then me so i am single again" not that i really cared seeing i was replaced and shit talked badly to "Sarah". If you havn't guessed i didn't bother to message her back once again because i wasn't ready to talk. She she sends me a text going "Alright i get it you don't wanna talk to me no more" Then a few minutes later another message on msn pops up from her saying something about how 'Fine after six years of friendship if this how you wanna be then i don't fucking care your being childish and i don't care anymore whatever it's just whatever, what happen to you didn't wanna lose my friendship? It's whatever i got my real and true friends who are here with me everyday." By this point i had became oh so very pissed with the fact she felt the need to flip shit on me and had the nerve to say i wasn't a real or true friend. After she said all this the little brat signed off msn so i couldn't say nothing back.

Well due to the fact i was being told i was actting like a child i made the choice to flip bricks on her in text messages. I replyed with "don't fucking IM me running your mouth then sign off so i can't even defend myself" so her being the dumbass she is rebecca replyed with "I am not dealing with this" so i'm childish so she says I go "You never want to deal with anything, that's why you have so many emotional problems and why your always upset" then once again she pulled stupid crap with "I'll text you when i am ready to talk" I got very pissed that she would even say that after she didn't wait till i was ready or even care till i was. Pretty much i said this "I do not care when you are ready, you didn't wait till i was ready to talk so i am not waiting till you feel ready, this is not Rebecca's world and all about you and what u want and feel. It works both ways next time think before you flip shit on me" she replayed with "What the fuck ever" and followed up with deleting me off facebook and myspace as if that would hurt me no not really that is childish all in it's own.

After a few hours of this and me saying goodbye to her over twenty-five times that didn't seem to matter, she just wouldn't shut up. It was clear Rebecca wanted to end our friendship, i mean with her actions alone it said that so i let it happen, i gave up after so many months of fighting and bullshit. In the end Rebecca is blaming me for every thing saying that it's all my fault, that her life is all screwed up because if me. I mean your paying for college on your own, bought your own car on your own, have a job, play your own bills, Forgive me if i am wrong but where is the sadness that seems to cloud over her life? Well i'm being told i wasn't a true or real friend, that all the fights were me. Which anyone who knows the full story and everything that has been said will know I didn't end the friendship didn't even hint to it and i wasn't in the wrong.

Six years of friendship is gone yet i am not sad nor happy but free if the drama free of the endless obsessive crap. Yes i admit it finally after so long you will hear the words every one was saying but told myself wasn't true. It hurts to have the words fall from my lips, to be typed from my keyboard..HA..who am i kidding..She is very obsessive, clingy, stalkerish, crazy, phyco, selfish, and has admitted more then once she was trying to turn me gay she she could have me and no one else could. I guess i was blind and didn't see how bad she was getting but i guess all i can say at this point is Goodbye Rebecca you will not be missed and i am not going to chase after you like a lost lover because i will never be yours and i never wanted to be. You walked away and that was your choice i am closing that chapter of my life and moving on. Peace kiddo do some growing up and find out who your real true friends are because I was one and you bailed out. You can keep the ones that let you drink and drive. When you end up dead i will be there to say I TOLD YOU SO!. Bye bye.

shooting stars rippling rainbows last eternity

Over due Goodbye and Fare well..